No Expectations
by oh.hopeful.dreamer
Summary: What if Bella met Edward in 1969? Will Bella, a music loving hippie, catch a reclusive vampire’s eye? Will they even get along? Can he save her before she gets herself in too deep? Will she let him?
1. One

**Okay, this is my first fanfic so pleaseeeee be nice! But also, please be real. Any advice, I wanna hear it!**

**Summary: What if Bella met Edward in 1969? Will Bella, a music loving hippie, catch a reclusive, 'vegetarian' vampire's eye? Will they even get along? Can he save her before she gets herself in too deep?**

Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer-- not me.

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"Come on, Ang! Let's rock and roll!" I exclaimed, hopping into the van barefoot.

"Okay, okay! But I have to be back as soon as the festival is over," Angela said, plopping down onto the seat next to me. She let out a chuckle. "Bella, my parents are going to flip their lid!"

"Okay guys and gals, let's do this!" Mike shouted over the Volkswagon engine roaring to life. I picked up the one of the blankets off of the seat and threw it over us, then draped my legs over Angela's lap. Eric and Ben sat behind us, already half asleep, while Jessica bounced excitedly in the passengers seat.

_Ugh. Jessica. Jessica Stanley._

I don't believe in hate. However, if I did... Jessica Stanley and I would most definitely have a love/hate relationship. I can tolerate her because I'm usually high, she can tolerate me because she doesn't have many other options. Jessica digs Mike, while Mike, for some odd reason, digs me. And even though I have given Mike the "just friends" speech, he still wants to be my friend. I guess Jessica's an alright chick, just a wannabe because she's so in love with Mike.

I tossed Jessica a tape and she popped it in as we pulled out of my driveway. Before we even drove off of my street, everyone was singing along to the Rolling Stones "No Expectations."

_Take me to the station  
And put me on a train  
I've got no expectations  
To pass through here again_

_Once I was a rich man and  
Now I am so poor  
But never in my sweet short life  
Have I felt like this before_

_You heart is like a diamond  
You throw your pearls at swine  
And as I watch you leaving me  
You pack my peace of mind_

_Our love was like the water  
That splashes on a stone  
Our love is like our music  
Its here, and then its gone_

_So take me to the airport  
And put me on a plane  
I got no expectations  
To pass through here again_

Thank God Charlie wasn't home to see his only daughter skipping her Friday classes to get to "some hippie music fest." And thank God Charlie thought I was going to the beach with my friends for the weekend. He threw a fit just thinking we would be staying with Ben's aunt and uncle for the weekend, so I can only imagine how upset he'd be to hear where I was really headed.

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What'd ya think?

This was more of a brief summary of how things go in this story (Bella's relationships, perspective, etc.). The story will pick up-- promise! Oh and Edward will be around soon! Don't worry- I only wish it were possible to forget about him.

If you review, I may just let you hitch a ride with Bella :)


	2. Two

**I published this because I hate starting a story that only has one chapter done. It's a cruel form of punishment.**

**So review please. I really will love your suggestions.**

**And I also might heed requests to insert you as a fellow hippie, hitch hiker, or some random role :)**

**  
**Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer-- not me.**

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We weren't even 45 miles from forks when I smelled my favorite kind of smoke. Ben passed the joint to Angela, while I curled my legs up into my lap and sat next to her anticipating my turn. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and handed it to me as she exhaled with a smirk.

"Thanks, love," I said, grinning.

"Of course," she giggled. Ang really was one of my best friends. She had her fair share of rebellion and really knew what it was like to have a family who didn't understand. I couldn't help but smile at her as I finally allowed the smoke to exit my lungs. My smile faltered a bit when I saw Mike smiling at me in the rearview.

_Shit. Why does the whole 'just friends' conversation seem to never work with Mike? _

"Here, Mike. You want it?" I asked, holding it low between the driver and passenger's seats. Jessica crinkled her nose. I looked at Angela as we both silently counted down: _4, 3, 2..._

"Ew, Bella! Can you not hold a joint right beside me?! I don't want to smell like pot the entire trip!" Jessica whined before letting out an overly dramatic cough, a pathetic attempt to emphasize her point.

"Jessica, this van will be hot-boxed all the way to SanFran. Then we will spend our entire Saturday in a cloud of smoke. Sunday, guess what? We will hot box our way back to Forks. So I doubt you'll smell of anything BUT weed." I smiled triumphantly.

"Ugh, fuck you, Bella. Don't be mad that not all of us are little stoner hippies." She spat.

I laughed in response as I inhaled yet another hit.

Seven hours later, after two stops and six joints, our hippie bus pulled into a grassy space at the Oregon County Fair. I slid out of the bus and got rid of my sweater. My formfitting Grateful Dead tee shirt had snuck its way up my midriff to expose my flat tummy and protruding hipbones, and I wasn't the only one to notice. I caught Mike and Eric gawking before I could even pull it down. I looked away quickly as I felt a familiar burning sensation reach my cheeks.

"Damn..." Eric muttered, as Mike broke his stare and shifted uncomfortably.

_What the hell? I mean have they never seen a belly button before?_ I grabbed my bag from the floorboard in the bus and worked it around my neck, while trying to mentally force the blush from my cheeks.

"Uhhh... I have to pee! Ang, will you come with?" I said, moving quickly around our friends. _Ugh... Little boys make things so uncomfortable._

"Geez, Bell! Wait up!" Angela said, catching up with me. "Eric is an idiot, but I'm sure he didn't mean to make you feel weird. And don't act so modest- it was just your stomach!"

"I know. It's just embarrassing. Not to mention the guys can be so immature once their hormones come into play," I frowned. "You know how I am about that kind of attention. It's just awkward, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know. I know you're one of the most beautiful girls I know who has no idea how to deal with it!" She grabbed my face. "Bella, you're my friend and I love you. But you've gotta show yourself more lovin' and let the good times-"

"ROLL!" Ben screamed as he threw one arm around Angela and the other around me. I couldn't help but laugh as he gave Angela a sloppy kiss. "Just hang loose, Bella. We'll be diggin' some groovy tunes before ya know it!" Ben mused.

"Haha... Okay, okay I get it, you two. Now, seriously, I have to pee!" I shrugged out from under his arm and ducked into the bathroom. When I emerged, my friends were waiting and talking to some people at a booth.

"Yeah, totally bro! We've got enough room!" Eric was smiling brightly, and apparently offering a ride to some hippie. Now that I looked closely, it was a kid from school.

"Thanks, man. I hitched here so I'm glad I won't have to hitch all the way back home from Cali!" He smiled at my friends, then turned to follow everyone's gaze to me. I half smiled awkwardly, while trying not to fall in the slippery grass. He smiled bigger when I held up a peace sign. "Hey, diggin' your threads!" Tyler said as he pointed to my shirt.

Ben and Mike chuckled lightly. They had given me shit for wearing this shirt since we left Forks this morning with comments like, "Hey, Bell- too bad the Grateful Dead aren't playing this weekend. Maybe try wearing a band that we'll actually be seeing?" insert unnecessary high five between Mike and Ben...

"Uh, yea. I'm Bella," I said, reaching out my hand.

He ignored my outstretched hand and brought me into a hug. "I'm Tyler! Cool to meet you, sugar."

"Ha. Get a room or something," Jessica snickered. I shot her a rather obvious eat-shit-and-die look. Unfortunately, she looked away before my glare actually became intimidating. _Damn._

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_  
_REVIEWSIES pleaseee


	3. Three

**Just to clear some things up-- thoughts are in** _italics_. **Also, after this chapter I'm going to give you a little bit of Edward's POV :)  
****  
**Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer-- not me.**

**But Edward's POV is ONLY if you REVIEW! I need FEEDBACK!  
**

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The rain started dimming my vision as I watched Jessica, Mike, Ben, Eric, Tyler, and Ang run back to the van, carrying the remnants of our picnic in their arms. As I looked around, all the people that had been sitting around us were running to shelter from the rain.

In just minutes the sprinkles of rain turned into an intense downpour, already making my hair feel damp and cold on my shoulders and down my back. I laid down as my spine intruded upon the slippery green grass. It was chilly, but I couldn't help but want to feel the rain surround me. Feeling the smile expose my contentment, my eyes closed to feel the moisture reach my eyelids.

"Bella! Bella, come on!" Ang was yelling over the thunder as she reached me. Her firm grasp on my wrist started yanking me upwards. "Bells, are you alright?!"

With my eyes still shut, I started laughing. When I opened them, Angela was standing over me with her dripping black locks and soggy floor-length dress, holding worry and confusion in her eyes. Quickly, a smile played along her mouth when I jumped up, still laughing.

"Come on, Ang! I'm diggin' the storm," I held her hand up in the air and danced beneath our arms with a smile on my face. She shot a quick glance back at the van, where the rest of the gang was staring at us from behind the window, then giggled as she began dancing alongside me.

"Wow, it's pouring out there!" Eric said, as he hopped into the van and I tossed him a blanket. "I'm glad we hadn't set up our tents yet, they would've been soaked by now..."

"Not like the dancing doll, Bella, would've minded a little rain to assist in her wet t-shirt contest," Jessica muttered under her breath, as she picked at her fingernails.

I let out an audible sigh as my attempt at a verbal response. _I vote we leave little-miss-sunshine in California and bet on how many blow jobs it takes her to hitch back to Forks. _

Angela was braiding my long, damp hair as I rested my head on her lap, while Mike scanned the radio for weather reports. The static between each station was enough to make me sleepy, even though it was only 10 o'clock.

"It doesn't look like the rain's letting up anytime soon. Hey, did you scarf those munchies from earlier? Let's burn and just chill out for a while until the rain decides to split," Mike suggested. He smirked as he and his pipe settled in between me and Jessica. "Did all the dancing wear you out, B?"

"Something like that," I grinned, with lazy eyes. Mike really was a good friend. And it really broke my heart that I couldn't be that girl he thought I was. How could he not know I was a mess? How could he not understand that I was nothing anyone would ever need? Not to mention the fact that I couldn't ever care for him in anything but a platonic way. I sat up and subtly scooted closer to Ang, as Jessica scooted closer to Mike. _They're going to be a great couple._

After we smoked and munched for an hour, the rain hadn't stopped. I dozed off to the sound of the radio, as did my friends.

In the wee hours of the morning, we pulled out of the fairgrounds saying our farewells to the people we met.

"We'll be back soon, but for now we've gotta split! Save us a spot in the grass," Tyler called to the people from the back window. He situated himself back into his corner as he pulled out a bag with a devious smirk. "Wake and bake?"

We all laughed and got ready for another smoke session to kick off our 8 hour drive to San Franscisco. My head was resting on the window and I could feel the glass conflicting with the braid trailing down the back of my head. Tyler leaned over to me as he handed me the joint, "Get ready for the Stones, sugar."

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** Remember... Edward's POV if I get some REVIEWS!**

**_peace&love_  
**


	4. Four

**Thanks for reviews. I neeeeeed them. ****I need them almost as much as I need Edward... Speaking of which, here is Edward's POV.**

Shout out to two of my only friends in the fanfic world: lillehannigan and jasperstemptress. I'm new at all of this, so I appreciate them.

**  
DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind Twilight, not me. So she owns all of these amazing vamps and humans.**

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"Don't you just love it, Edward?!" Alice squealed, jumping out of the drivers seat of her new corvette. "He's so pretty and fast and red!"

This car was perfect for her, even if I found it far too dramatic for my personal taste. Jasper climbed out of the passenger's seat with a grin. "I think I've been replaced by Christopher the Corvette," he mused, inspecting the car carefully.

"Jazz, you know as well as any of us that this Christopher dude is just a superficial fling of hers," I teased. "She'll be back in your arms begging for a newer, faster, shinier automobile in a month, tops."

_I give it three weeks_, Esme thought. I flashed her a crooked smile and she grinned.

_Mine's faster and shinier. And it doesn't have a moronic name like Christopher. Plus, her engine is probably shit, _ Rosalie thought before catching her reflection in the car window and admiring herself in vain, which is right about the time I try to tune her out.

_Damn. Alice has got Jazz whipped, huh? Somebody distract her while I take it for a spin. _Emmett thought as he hopped behind the wheel to inspect the car's interior.

Suddenly, Alice stopped dancing around her new toy and held her fingers to her temples as she zoned out.

"Alice, honey, what is it? What do you see?" Jasper was by her side in an instant, followed closely by Esme.

"Humans... It's a festival or something," Alice concentrated harder. "Humans everywhere... My car..." She snapped out of it.

I saw bits and pieces, but over the past few weeks Alice's visions had flashed across her mind too quickly for me to follow in entirety. The most prominent detail I remember from these visions was an absolutely stunning brunette with ivory skin and coffee colored eyes amidst a large crowd of swaying humans. And I was there. I was present in Alice's vision with this utterly gorgeous girl...

_What the hell? _I thought._ I never go to shit like that with Alice..._

_Humans? Well then count me out,_ Jasper thought.

"What's going on Alice? I saw her again," I demanded. Somehow, Alice could piece together more of her recent visions than I could. Carlisle's theory on this was because the visions were actually happening in _her_ mind and not mine, which seemed nothing short of logical. I couldn't help but become increasingly agitated over the past few weeks, considering I wasn't used to having any hindrances in reading others thoughts (or in Alice's case, visions). Plus, I was pissy because some beautiful human girl kept reappearing in these frustrating situations. Surprisingly, Alice also found it a bit annoying to see this human so involved in quite chaotic visions. The first time we saw this mystery brunette was when the visions began doing strange things, like speeding up and occasionally becoming hazy.

"I don't know," Alice stated, calmly. "I keep seeing her, but I don't know her name. Sometimes she's appears blurry, like a camera lens out of focus. I don't know what it means, it's never happened before."

Jasper draped his arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him. "It's okay, Alice. Hopefully she'll stop screwing with your visions, considering I can't handle much more of Edward's frustration." He smirked at me. _You need to cool it, my man. You get so tense when you don't know everything._

I glared at him. Does he think I like being a monster? Am I supposed to like hearing all of the loveydovey bullshit thoughts of everyone? I took off into the woods behind the new house.

"I'm going to hunt," I called to the others without turning to see their expressions. I already hear their constant worries, I didn't want to _see_ the worry, too.

"Wait up, bro, I'll go with you!" Emmett yelled, while running closely behind.

Rather satisfied with Washington's wildlife buffet, Emmett and I raced up the steps and through the front door. Em sped up the stairs to see Rosalie in their room, and I strolled into the living room. Jasper and Alice were sitting on the new and pristine white sofa, Esme relaxing in an equally immaculate and boxlike white chair. I assumed Carlisle was busy making a great first impression on all of the unsuspecting nurses at Forks Hospital. We weren't supposed to arrive until next week, but Carlisle being, well, Carlisle, wanted to get into our new home in Forks, Washington to create a great sense of normalcy for our "unconventional family." I told him how I'd thought it to be a fairly risky idea to move to such a small town in such a strange era, but I also said I would stand behind him and the rest of the family whatever decision he made. The 1960s were full of prejudice and double standards, so I was a bit nervous when Carlisle made up his mind: being a family with several adopted kids who mysteriously vanished on sunny days wasn't exactly the norm. But Alice saw visions of how smitten the hospital staff would be with Carlisle, and how Esme would charm the town, so I began feeling more at ease. That is until Alice's visions began getting all fucked up. Now I was just as edgy and cynical as I had been for the past 50 years.

"Edward!" Alice mused, in her fairly affectionate tone. "How was hunting? Great. You look full. Your eyes are much better. Jazz and I need to hunt soon, too." Dear God, that pixie had something huge coming for me, I could tell. Whenever Alice talks 100 miles per hour, I know she's up to something.

"So," she continued, "how about you come with me to San Francisco tomorrow? Or at the very least, we can go to Oregon's first state fair? Please, Edward! Jazz can't go because of all the humans. If you don't go, I can't go. It'd be too dangerous." _I have restraint, but there will be too much opportunity... Please_, she thought.

I knew she wasn't afraid for her life, she was afraid for those oblivious and idiotic humans. If I didn't go, she really couldn't risk going. She and I both knew Carlisle and Esme would be too worried to focus on the tasks this new move called for if little Alice could possibly be massacring a fair full of hopeless humans.

"Alice," I groaned. "I hate absurd human activities. That includes fairs. You know this. Why do you even want to go?"

_Good job, Edward. Here we fucking go,_ Jasper thought.

"Well, you know how I'm designing a new line for my little fashion obsession? I have to go see what will sell. And I want to go get some fresh ideas. This will be huge help to me. Please?" She begged.

I looked at her inquisitively. "Am I going? Just tell me and stop the bullshit."

"Told you, Ali. I knew he'd ask," Jasper laughed.

"Yeah, yeah whatever, Jazz," she hit him on the chest. "Yes, Edward. I saw you there. Obviously it could change, but please go with me. I really want to go. I'll let you race my car or something equally exciting. Please..."

"Just stop fucking whining. When do you want to leave?" I huffed. I couldn't believe I was doing this. She jumped up and hugged me around the neck, squeezing me so hard I could hardly pry her off.

"Oh thank you, Edward! Thank you! Thank youuuu," she squealed. "Okay, we'll leave around 2 am tomorrow morning. We can stop in Oregon if you want, or we can go all the way to San Francisco. Thank you, Edward!"

"Fine," I grumbled. "I'm driving. And we should probably stop. If we're going to be around all of those humans, we'll need to hunt fairly often. What's in San Francisco anyway?"

"You'll see," she beamed as she grabbed Jasper, skipped out the door and into the forest. _Damn pixie_, I thought.

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peace&love**


	5. Five

**Sorry it's taken a few weeks. Life has gotten quite busy. Hope to post the next chapter by the middle of this week. **

**REVIEWreviewREVIEWreview :)  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All that is Twilight belongs to the brilliant Steph Meyer**

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As we sped down the interstate, I pushed a Blue Cheer tape in Alice's brand new tape deck. I suppose it was technically Christopher the Corvette's tape deck, but I refused to verbally surrender my mind to Alice's heinous nickname for her car. _Christopher? Really?_ I could have come up with a better name, but Alice had to curse that damn corvette with an ordinary, boring, silly name. Sorry, but I just have this thing about names.

When the first song began, I remembered that the band we were listening to was from San Francisco. I straightened up in my seat and looked over at Alice.

"Alice," I began, questioningly. "Why are we going to San Francisco?" She snorted.

"Don't be mad, okay? We're going to the West Coast version of Woodstock... The Rolling Stones will be there! You like the Stones, yeah? Lots of people will be there, wearing lots of West Coast threads. I just want to go in the name of fashion, Edward! Quit your bitching!"

"Oh I haven't even started my bitching, Alice," I glowered. "Are you kidding me? You're dragging me to some hippie Woodstock bullshit? Come on, Alice! That is the most horrendous thing you could ever try putting me through. Why? Why the hell did I have to go with you?"

"It'll be worth your while, Edward! I promise! You get to spend time with Christopher the Corvette, and me! Plus, it'll be so much fun. I swear. Don't be mad at me and ruin my fun! Oh and Em, Jazz, and Rose have a bet going that you'll be a big baby about everything... So you don't want them to win, do you?" She smiled deviously. _Damn that little pixie._

I stared at her angrily, then stared at the road, speechless. She let out a barely audible laugh.

"I really am sorry, Edward. I hope you'll forgive me," she said sincerely, as she patted my hand gently. I nodded rigidly.

Alice took the next several hours explaining her "fashion dreams" and why they were so insanely important to her. We took turns coming up with pseudonyms for her when her clothing line was the next big thing. In my opinion, and Carlisle's, this entire idea Alice had been buzzing about for months was ludicrous. Our family's entire motive is to attempt to blend in, which was hard enough as it was. But once the little pixie gets an idea, there's no stopping her.

We pulled into Oregon's fairgrounds in the early morning. It would've taken a human much longer to get there, but to Rosalie's dismay, Christopher's engine was _not_ shit. Alice would never hear me admit it, but I thoroughly enjoyed driving that car. Just so long as I can pretend it's name isn't Christopher. Alice had hunted right before we left Forks, so she decided to look around some of the booths in the fair. I wasn't thirsty, but I knew I would be faced with quite a bit of temptation, so I decided to disappear in Oregon's vast forest for a snack.

When I was done draining a doe about 10 miles into the forest, I decided to head back. Quite a bit more commotion could be heard from the fairgrounds so I thought Alice might want a familiar face, even if I was still a bit upset with her for dragging me along.

Strolling by Alice's car, I began sifting through numerous thoughts. Many of them were focused on the clothing and jewelry being sold at booths. Others were curious about where to score some drugs. _Imbeciles._ This era was unbelievable; I've never seen so many humans becoming so fixated on the thought of getting messed up. Drugs are definitely something I'd never understand. They even made some humans smell different, which was extremely frustrating, considering they already smelled so delicious. At least the dirty hippies who rarely showered would always smell less enticing.

I continued walking along at a slow, human pace, pretending to look at some of the goods being sold. Then I saw _her,_ in Alice's thoughts. Alice was walking quickly towards me with a rather determined look on her face.

"You saw her?" I asked anxiously. "Where?" I was surprised by my anxious tone. Then again, not knowing this human girl in all of Alice's visions was really getting to both of us. We weren't sure why she kept reappearing, or why the visions were so strained, but we knew there was a reason she was always there. Now, I was ready to get some answers and get the hell out of here.

"I saw her from a distance, by a van. She was with a group of people," Alice scanned the lot, "somewhere over there."

Alice pointed to one of the Volkswagen vans pulling out of a parking space full of some teenagers. One of the passengers was leaning out the window, as the van roared to life, yelling and waving to several fair-goers. _What an idiot._ I followed him with my eyes as he lowered his torso back into the van and pulled out a bag of weed and showing it to the other people in the van. Across from him was the barely awake, yet still beautiful brunette, with a wide smile as she looked over the contents of the bag. _Brilliant. The mystery girl is going to have her brains fried before we even find out why she's a reoccurring star in Alice's visions. _I rolled my eyes as I heard their van pulling out of it's spot.

_Oh no, Edward! They're leaving- _SHE_ is leaving!_ Alice thought, her eyes frantically flickering to mine.

"Alice, we'll find her," I groaned, and began pinching the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb. "You saw her at the festival, right? So now we'll definitely have to go, won't we?"

"Oh good, Edward!" She exclaimed, while bouncing around excitedly. "You're so amazing! Thank you!! And with those last two inquisitive rhetorical questions, you just made Jazz, Em, and Rose to lose their bet!"

"Yes, okay, whatever," I grumbled. "But if mystery girl is high or tripping on anything, we're leaving. We can't expect to figure anything out if she's on another planet. Plus, you'll have had plenty of time to get the few ideas you need for your oh-so-fabulous 'fashion dream'! Oh and I'm still driving."

She plucked the keys out of her purse and tossed them to me with a frown. "Edward, I'm never going to get to drive Christopher!"

"Sorry, Alice. A deal's a deal," I shrugged, giving her a sly smirk. She opened her door and hopped in with her arms crossed. I got in and revved the engine for the drive ahead, not sure exactly what to prepare myself for once we got there.

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**Reviews are grrrreatly appreciated.**

**The chapters WILL start getting longer. Promise! And Edward will be meeting Bella verrrry soon!**


	6. Six

**Here's a peek into Bella and just some of her issues. And also a bit of maryjane fluff, since it's Bella's favorite!**

**You're all awesome. So stay that way, since Edward and Bella will be meeting next chapter!!!!!!  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All that is Twilight belongs to the brilliant Steph Meyer**

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I looked over to the corner seat of the van to see Ben's arm wrapped around Angela's shoulder while she was feeding him a gummy bear. Since Ang is one of my closest friends, I can say that he is lucky to have her. She is beautiful, smart, and so kind. But if I was being completely honest, Ben was a groovy dude.

When I first moved to Forks, Angela was one of the first people, aside from Mike, to reach out to me. Naturally Ben followed her lead and welcomed me into their group of friends. To this day, I still have no clue why they all chose to befriend me. I was jaded and withdrawn when I first came to live with Charlie seven months ago. And the past seven months have been quite a blur...

_Wow... Am I becoming Renee?_ I thought.

Anxiety crept through me as the thought settled in my mind. I quickly tried to put out the negative feelings associated with my mother. Sure, I love her; I love Renee more than she'll ever know. But she and I have experienced somewhat of a falling out since I left Arizona. She'd met some drifter, again, and actually became even more obsessed than usual. Phil was nice enough, way into music - which was good by me. But I was through trying to play this role of taking care of her when no man would, then also losing myself over the years because of her gypsy ways. I had to be the parent. I never drank or smoked until moving to Forks. Sure, I'm a hippie and I do drugs and I dig a good time now. Still, I'm no Renee. Growing up she moved me around the better part of the Midwestern United States, crashing on couches, in cars, etc. I'd been trying for as long as I could remember to save her from whatever she tried hiding from, but it was no use. While Renee partied and went on crazy drug binges with the flavor of the week, I tried my best to keep our lives stable, keep Renee alive, and keep my own head above water.

When I finally felt stable in a good school, decent job, and a fairly cozy home, she asked me to go with her and chase Phil to Florida. Enough is enough, right? I told her I loved her, but I wasn't going on another two month long road trip with her only to come back and have to clean up her "break up therapy" alcohol and pot binges. I guess she understood, because two weeks later I was on a plane to Washington with two brown, medium-sized suitcases. She didn't leave me for a man, I wouldn't let that happen again. So I packed up and told her with my best attempt at a smile, "have fun, be safe, and I love you."

Angela must have seen me zoning out with some sad look on my face because she threw one of her gummy bears at me and showed worry in her green eyes. I grinned at her with an apologetic look.

_Geez, Bella. Get a grip. Don't make this trip a drag for everyone, _I thought to myself.

"What's up, space cadet?" Jessica giggled.

"Oh, Jessica," I sighed. "Why are you talking?"

Everyone in the van tried not to laugh until Jessica made a sour face and flipped her hair, then they all began to giggle. Feeling triumphant, I leaned my head forward as I started to unwind my braided hair. I was beginning to get a headache and Jessica was not helping. At least the nasty look she was giving me now was accompanied with silence.

"Okay," Eric said, rubbing his hands together and getting ready to turn on the tape player. "Let's get some more goodies flowing before we get to San Fran! And Bella, this song's for you!"

I smiled to myself as I heard the familiar tune tear through the cheap speakers. Moving my head to the music and seeing my wavey, chestnut strands fall around my shoulders got me started on rolling a joint. The paper felt smooth beneath my fingertips as I placed a neat line of weed on the paper. I'd gotten some good pot from Jacob before we left. Jake was far out and just a really good guy, even if I knew he wanted more than I could give. He didn't mind being my friend, and he didn't mind helping me rebel against the responsible girl I always felt I'd had to be while I was growing up with Renee. My smile widened as I thought of how great he'd been since Charlie re-introduced us. Then the vocals started on the song, bringing me back to the present, and I couldn't help but lightly sing along:

"_Seems like I've been here before,_

_Fuzzy then and still so obscure, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye._

_And I don't want to see anybody cry,_

_Meet me some mornin' in the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by."_

I passed the joint to Ben as I exhaled and started playing the air guitar to Jerry Garcia's ridiculous lead riffs and sang louder:

"_Song commin' on,_

_So pleasin' to see, come and gone, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,_

_You don't have to tell me why,_

_Meet me some mornin' in the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by._

_It ain't cause I'm the only one left darlin',_

_Bout the time the sun rises west,_

_Feelin' groovy, lookin' fine."_

Now we were all jamming out like Deadheads with goofy grins plastered on our faces, joint in rotation and music blaring. This was a memory I was going to try really hard to remember, not just blur it out like some of the more lonely ones. I was with friends, I was feeling fine, and I knew I could be myself. My head tilted back and sang along with the rest of my crew:

"_Think I'll come back here again,_

_Every now and then from time to time._

_My how lovely you are, my dear,_

_The ball game has gone much too far my dear,_

_Sing to me, do your thing to me,_

_I'll meet you some mornin', meet you some mornin',_

_In the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by."_

"Let's do another Dead song," Eric grinned. "Oh and roll another one, somebody! One more hour and we'll be in San Francisco!!!"

I smiled as I grabbed the pot and papers out of my bag. _One more hour_...

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	7. Seven

**Thanks so much to the people who have reviewed and been so supportive. This idea just wouldn't leave me alone, but I haven't had a ton of time to write everything out for you- thanks for the patience!**

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**This chapter is in Bella's POV. Next chapter I may give you Edward's POV of their first meeting... Let me know what you think!**

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After another joint and some more songs, we pulled up to one of the most happening sights I've ever seen: tons of VW vans and hippies just hanging loose. We decided to park the van away from some other cars so we would have room to set up chairs and whatnot.

"No way!" I smiled, jumping out of the van. "Can you dig this?!"

"HELL YEAH!" we both exclaimed in unison.

"Damn," Tyler said, as he high-fived Mike, "This is some far out shit, brother!"

"Groovy," Jessica squealed, "What do we do next?"

"Peace out, Forks," Mike beamed. "San Francisco is my scene!"

We set up some chairs by the van and Tyler and Mike headed off to see what goodies they could find. Angela and I decided we would go scarf some food before the music started up on stage while the others hung out at the van. We strolled away from our friends, arm in arm, with the wind blowing through our hair.

"Hey," Jessica yelled, "Wait up! I'm coming with you all!"

I snorted as Angela squeezed my arm. It becomes easy to forget that Jessica was Angela's friend first, especially since they were so different. But Ang was one of the closest friends I'd ever had so I needed to try harder to welcome Jessica. Forcing a smile was as far as I had attempted after overhearing Jessica and Lauren run their mouths about me last week at school. But I could be the bigger person, I guess. I leaned over to give a grin to Jessica, who was now caught up and walking on the other side of Angela.

"All you need is love, love. Love is all you need..." The Beatles were shouting from a nearby vehicle.

Angela and I started giggling, recalling a midnight jam session from last week. Charlie was working a double so Ang came to stay the night with me. We smoked too much and had a very lengthy conversation about how all the world needed was love. Then we proceeded to sing and dance around in our panties with toothbrushes and play The Beatles record over and over and over.

"Okay," Jessica began, "I can handle not smoking all the time with you all. But the inside jokes and little giggles? Come on! Spill!"

"Sorry, Jess," Angela smiled and linked arms with her.

"See," I started, "I believe that love really _is_ all you need, just like The Beatles. I just recently converted Ang to a similar belief system. I can convert you to hippie-ism, too, if you'd like!" By now I was standing in front of her, smiling from ear-to-ear.

Jessica laughed uncomfortable, "Ha ha... Maybe later, Bella."

"Suit yourself," Angela shrugged with a smile, "But I think she's onto something!"

"I am," I teased, pointing my finger in Ang's face, "But I am also quite hungry. Let's scarf some munchies and get back to the guys!"

"There's a stand with some food!" Jessica exclaimed, pointing to a nearby area.

The sun was feeling divine as we finished our food and headed back to the group. I walked between Angela and Jessica on the way, too high to feel awkward being so civil with Jess. Even if our attempt at a friendship lasted only through the weekend, that was enough for me. I just wanted everyone to have a good time without drama or bitching.

"So," Jessica mumbled, "What's the big deal about smoking pot? I mean, I've done it a few times but it's not something I fell in love with."

I smirked. "Some people don't like it as much as others. I didn't really do it at all until I moved to Forks. But once I started, I just like the break from the world and day-to-day shit."

"But it doesn't make me all happy and fun," she continued. "It just makes me quiet and sleepy. Oh and hungry, ha ha. I get real hungry!"

"Ha ha, yeah I can understand that," Ang agreed.

"Well have you ever done anything else?" I asked her.

"Okay, don't tell everyone, alright?" Jessica looked down, nervously, then looked back from me to Angela with a big grin. "Lauren and I tried LSD with her older brother a few weeks ago! It was _so _groovy!"

I tried to remain composed and continue smiling, but it was quite a task. LSD shouldn't bother me as a drug, but I wasn't prepared for the memories those letters were associate with, such as past experiences with Renee and her acid induced carelessness. Angela could tell something hit me, not because she knew about my mess of a life in Phoenix but because my muscles became slightly tensed and my breathing sped up.

"Wow, Bella," Jessica held my arm, "Are you okay? Is it something I said? You look really pale... er... Well, more pale than usual..."

_Uh, and apparently I turn ghost white, too. Great._ I thought.

"Bells," Angela's voice was concerned, "You gonna be alright, girl? Talk to me-"

_Snap out of it, Bella. _I thought to myself.

"I'm fine," I blurted out. "Sorry, that was weird... I just- I don't know... I think something I ate is making me feel sick. Sorry... I'm fine."

I realized Angela and Jessica were both wearing looks of worry and holding each of my arms, in an attempt to keep me standing. I smiled, trying to reassure all of us that I was alright, and began walking again. My mind was reeling as my anxiety crept through my veins.

_Keep it together, Bella. You're fine. You're safe._ I kept telling myself.

We reached the van to find the boys huddled together.

"Hey, boys," Jessica skipped up behind them, "Whatcha got there?"

Ang grabbed my hand and stopped us before we got to the rest of the group.

"Hey, is everything good?" Angela asked. "You know if you're not okay or not feeling all right, you can tell me. You know I'm here for you, right?"

She was serious, her eyes screamed at me with concern. I wasn't used to having someone look out for me, and it was sweet, but now just wasn't the time to deal with this. If you asked me, NEVER was the perfect time to deal with any of it.

I shrugged it off with a bogus grin. "Ang, yeah I promise I'm fine! Let's go see what goodies they found!"

I tugged her along behind me and I could tell she didn't believe me for a minute. But she wasn't the type to pry, either. When we got up close to the boys, I knew it had to be something good. They were all grinning and glancing at each other and back to the bag.

"Boys," I pushed my way into the circle, "What's going on?"

Tyler held up a full bag with a goofy smile. "Mushrooms anyone?"

The boys started to high-five each other and whisper about how good of an idea it was.

"Bella, it's kinda like that LSD stuff!" Jessica clapped her hands together with a grin.

"Shit, Tyler," I said, never letting my eyes leave the bag, "I should have known you'd do something totally fucking groovy like this! Let's eat them and head down to the show!"

I'd never tried mushrooms before, but I was desperate to get as far away from reality as possible. We divided them up among all of us: I took the same amount as the boys while Jessica and Angela took fairly small amounts. Angela gave me an apprehensive glance before we all ate them, to which I responded with a sincere smile. I was fine, no more anxiety or stress for me. At least not while I had drugs as my escape.

As we walked down to the main area where the concert was held, I started feeling more than just high. Things were beginning to look strange: the trees seemed to move in abnormal ways, the cars looked as if they were melting into the grass. And my body felt weightless, limitless. Looking over at my friends I could tell they were beginning to feel it, too. Once we heard some music start playing, we went from walking to the stage to dancing our way through the crowds of people. The people we passed seemed increasingly fierce and intrusive as I became more submerged in tripping, so I stopped looking at their faces.

My vision became fairly flawless, that is until the intense features of something began warping or melting together. It was cool for the first 30 minutes, but after a while it was exhausting, like a roller coaster that I couldn't force to stop and let me off. But I'd look over at my friends and feel their happiness, and it made me feel all right again.

I ran and grabbed Angela and Jessica and began dancing and laughing with them. We'd reached a stopping point in the crowd and were waiting for the Rolling Stones to come on, so we just kept giggling and dancing. From behind the hint of overcast clouds, the sun's gentleness felt soothing on my face as I closed my eyes and tilted my head toward the sky. A kaleidoscope of images projected in my mind when my eyes were shut, so I just continued enjoying the trip. Wind flowed through my hair, causing it to dance around my face as I twirled around and I felt change in temperature, as if the sun had disappeared behind a large cloud or tree.

Suddenly, I had stopped spinning and felt as if I was wrapped tightly in a cold, heavy blanket. So many conflicting emotions flowed through me: loneliness, comfort, shame, fear, contentment, worry...

_What's that sweet smell? It's so..._ My mind trailed off and my curiosity got the best of me.

My eyes popped open to the most glorious sight I had ever seen. There was an angel, apparently holding me and looking extremely annoyed.

_So the drugs finally killed me and now I am in... Heaven? Is this My Angel? Why is My Angel so upset with me?_

His brows furrowed as my mind continued racing. My Angel's firm grasp around my waist loosened, then I found my balance, and my blush. Once the blood flushed my cheeks, My Angel seemed enraged. How could an angel, My Angel, commit such a sin as this? He was far too beautiful to frown, and it would have to be some sort of mortal sin for him to look so pained.

"Um, excuse me," My Angel even had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard, "You need to watch where you, uh, twirl."

I pulled my eyes away from him to notice my surroundings hadn't changed much. I was still at the festival. And I wasn't dead.

_Say something, you square!_ I thought.

"Technically," I started, "I was dancing. Dance with me!"

_Oh. My. God. Since you're not already dead, this should do it. Note to self: never eat shrooms- they take away any filter you may have between your mind and your mouth..._

"I don't dance." His voice was still beautiful, but there was harshness to it. His mesmerizing topaz eyes were captivating even when they were displaying his intense feelings of animosity towards me.

"Yea, me either," I mumbled, looking at my feet. "Well, not usually. Too clumsy."

I looked up at him as if I was expecting him to put me in time out.

"Sorry I ran into you." I glanced back down to my shoes trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Yeah," he murmured, "You really should be more careful."

I felt a hand grab my arm and looked up to see Jessica, but not My Angel.

"Bella! What the hell?!" Jessica questioned.

"Uh, yeah," I said while glancing around trying to find My Angel. "Did you see that guy I ran into? I guess I should keep my eyes open when I dance..."

"Ha ha, no but I'm not surprised. None of us knew where you went- one second you were there dancing with me and Angela, and the next second you were gone. Come on, the Rolling Stones just started!"

Jessica and I finally made our way back to Angela and the rest of the gang. Well, I guess Jessica more or less pulled me back to where everyone was while I was too busy scanning each and every face for My Angel. Big mistake. The shrooms weren't ready to let me be sober, so all of the faces grew more and more intensely warped.

_Was I imagining things? How could My Angel disappear so fast? Wow, Bella. You're definitely losing it, _I thought.

Angela threw her arms around me then tried to start dancing to the Stones. I was so out of it... _Had I really just imagined all of that? All of him?_ I pulled myself out of the craziness going on in my mind and made an effort to sing along with Ang. My head was spinning with all kinds of emotions, making me feel as if they were viciously ripping me apart to unload everything I'd been trying to hold in. Since Ang only took a little bit of the shrooms, she thankfully wasn't still tripping. She kept dancing or singing with me, which held my mind in the present momentarily.

Mike tried to dance with us, but I couldn't afford adding him to the insanity I was battling inside. I knew if I had to try to suppress all of these emotions _and _deal with worrying about hurting Jessica or Mike's feelings, I would end up losing my cool. However I didn't mind trying to dance around Tyler or Eric to get myself feeling happy and lighthearted. At least Jessica kept Mike occupied by dancing and letting her hands roam over his body while singing some suggestive lyrics.

After the show, and after the drugs wore off, we all strolled back to the van. It was Twilight and I could tell it was going to be a good night to camp out once we got down the road and a little closer to home. Even after the amazing time I'd had so far, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Then, when I realized the root of my disappointment was just the consequences of a drug induced hallucination, I would get mad at myself for being such a sucker for a random fantasy I had somehow managed to make up.

_But he seemed so real, _I thought.

"Hey, Bells," Mike was glaring as Tyler threw his arm around my shoulder. "How'd you dig the show? Was it as groovy as you thought it'd be?"

"Uh, yea, Tyler," I shrugged, trying to subtly move out from under his arm. "I dig that song the Stones played... How's it go again, Ang?"

I ran up to her to get away from Tyler and to grab her hand for a dance as she sang the lyrics with her fist up to her mouth as a makeshift microphone. Then I grabbed Jess and we danced and skipped our way back to the van.

We got some dinner on the way out of town, smoked, and sat around talking and listening to music while Mike drove. Once we got to a stopping point in Oregon, I set up a single tent with a few insulated sleeping bags Charlie let me borrow from his hunting supplies. I snuggled in between all of the insulation and drifted off into sleep with thoughts of My Angel leading the way...

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	8. Eight

**Sorry for the delay, but you have Edward's POV as promised!**

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**I went back to fix a little mess up that neither I, nor my beta, caught. Thanks Leeann!  
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"_Far, far, far away - way_

_People heard him say - say_

_I will find a way - way_

_There will come a day - day_

_Something will be done."_

I tapped my index finger rhythmically against the steering wheel while listening to the Pink Floyd tape I'd purchased a few weeks ago. Alice breezed through a fashion magazine in the bucket seat next to me with her hair bouncing around her face as she nodded to the beat of the music, her mind bouncing from thought to thought like a pinball in one of those mindless machines.

_Oh, that dress is too cute! My God, that model is just hideous- Hm... This song is actually pretty groovy! Good music choice, Edward_, Alice thought.

"Alice," I looked at her with disapproval, "did you just say groovy?"

"No, but I thought it," she frowned. "You really shouldn't be reading my thoughts, you know. It's not nice to eavesdrop."

"If I could block out your endless rambling, trust me, I would," I muttered.

We were a little over an hour away from San Francisco, about the same as the humans we were following since we'd stopped to hunt about 90 miles back. It was odd to taste the difference in the California animal's blood, seeing as their diet and environment would be slightly different due to the climate's natural effect on California vegetation. Not to mention the wildlife park we'd decided to dine in was exquisite; we had our choice of mountain lions, elk, red foxes, moose, etc. We decided to hunt for a bit longer than usual seeing as we would be engulfed in temptation once arriving at the concert.

As I was trying to busy myself with thinking of the vast array of dinner options we may have on the way back, I realized I had somewhat tuned Alice out. This isn't necessarily unusual considering I have had so long to perfect such technique, it comes in handy when I would rather not listen to all of the girls in high schools thinking of what they would like to do to me. But my mind seemed all too quiet... Then a series of visions sped through my mind and Alice dropped her magazine. Obviously, the same human girl was yet again starring in Alice's visions, and yet again, screwing them up.

"Al, you alright?" I reached out to touch her hand and let her know I was there.

She began shaking her head. "Dancing," she mumbled. "She's disoriented and smiling... And dancing, she's dancing like she's in her own world."

"Well, we are going to a concert, Alice," I smirked.

"Yeah, no shit!" She slapped my shoulder. "Whatever, I just... The glimpse I got of the rest of the crowd wasn't dancing like that... And it was really bad quality, worse than the ones before. The vision seemed chaotic and messy."

"Great. I'd say she's definitely going to be on something."

"I hope not," she murmured. "Then we won't even realize why she's been so involved in my visions. I never have these kinds of visions about strangers, especially humans, unless their life intersects with one of ours."

When we pulled into parking spot at a nearby lot, there were tons of people and just as many thoughts weaving in and out of my mind. I tried sifting through them as I stepped onto the gravel in my designer boots and slammed the car door.

"Easy with Christopher!" Alice shrieked.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed with these ridiculous thoughts. Anyway, we're going to have to be a little careful with the sun today."

"Yeah, supposed to be mostly overcast, but a few stray rays could always be a nightmare," she said as she slipped on her large, black sunglasses.

Alice skipped beside me onto the concert grounds. Turns out it was free, which she failed to mention, therefore all of the loonies could come out to play. I was flipping through various thoughts for the brunette as I would occasionally catch stares from a range of different women, all eyeing me as if I was something to eat.

_Oh, the irony..._ I thought.

"There!" Alice grabbed my hand and nodded her head in the direction of the crowd.

I was about to make an excessively smartass remark when I saw her. She was just beginning to make her way through the massive swarm of concertgoers, she was beginning to dance and hold her hand over her head. She wouldn't look at the people but they were all looking at her. She kept her head down as if she was embarrassed, hair dancing around her face and shielding her from the stares, yet she continued dancing through the flock of people. Before I knew it, Alice and I were carefully dodging bystanders and weaving in and out of the frail human forms just to keep an eye on her. I tried to peer into her thoughts but maybe the drugs had some kind of unusual effect on it. The stares that were focused on the beautiful brunette were quickly shifted to Alice and I, while the human girl left an unforgettable aroma in her wake. The thoughts that just seconds ago were fixated on the girls dress or her and her friends dancing were now curiously shifting to images of the little pixie and I making our way through the crowd. It made me uncomfortable just being here, and that taunting scent blending in with all of the other fragrant temptation definitely wasn't helping either of us.

_Either she's really into the music, or she's really messed up..._ Alice thought and shot me a concerned look.

I looked at her and gave her one apprehensive nod. When we looked back to the crowd, back to where she'd been, neither of us saw her. Alice looked ahead and stood on the tips of her toes to see over some of the people, while I glanced around frantically, searching for any thought that could link up to the girl. Then I saw her dancing in a circle with two of her girlfriends, just laughing and swaying. In whomever's thoughts I was viewing her from, her eyes were shut and she began twirling around with her hands in the air. I caught a glimpse of two small, pale hands waving aimlessly with a woven bracelet on the left wrist.

Since when did you become so obsessed with random human girls? I thought. It's just curiosity of her effect on Alice... That's it. That is definitely it. But what the hell is with her thoughts? Could be the drugs, or maybe the fact that you're not in close proximity to her, but either way- you're losing touch.

"Alice," I said quietly, tilting my head in the direction, "You go on the left side and see how we can approach amongst the friends..."

She nodded fervently and we began moving in the same direction, but the crowd became much more dense. Alice must have begun looking where I'd requested because I couldn't see the little pixie. I kept looking on the left side of where I'd seen the hands waving and, luckily, I found a break in the crowd to head toward for a better view. Then I saw her in a separate thought, and I was in it. Her arms were at her sides and it looked like she...

I turned around and caught her right before she stumbled over her own feet. She hit my chest, hard, and her eyes were still closed.

_Great, she probably broke something hitting my stone cold chest._

She sniffed the air and then grinned. She was thinking of... Nothing? What? No thoughts? I tried reading her again now that I was, well, pressed against her, and I still was drawing a blank. The fact that I couldn't read her mind and she smelled sinfully enticing was excruciatingly frustrating. Plus, her excessive recreational drug use didn't make her a genius in my book. But I had never had an experience with a human whose mind I couldn't read. It was an absurd thought, considering they were so breakable and often transparent.

Her eyelids flipped open to display large, brown eyes. Honestly she was much more beautiful than she had been in any thought or any other view I'd had of her. And her eyes were stunning, but they held confusion. I realized my arms were still tightly woven around her little waist and even though I was very irritated about not being able to hear her thoughts, I didn't want her to fall if I let her go. Not to mention, her petite frame felt so incredible and warm in my arms. Slowly I loosened my grasp on her and she found her feet. Blood flushed into her cheeks beneath those beautiful eyes and it took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to let the monster within me come to life. She was too much for me handle right now, and there was no point in us even coming and putting her in such danger since we won't be getting any answers from her when she's so high.

_Say something and just fucking get out of here_, I thought.

"Um, excuse me," I began, "you need to watch where you, er, twirl..."

_Smooth, Romeo._

Her blush faded and she glanced around. Once she broke our gaze, I could get my mind back on track with seeming human, blinking and inhaling. Big mistake. She smelled unbelievably mouthwatering. Putting myself through this any longer was just cruel. And judging by the sky, risking exposure by the sun would just be stupid.

"Technically I was dancing." She said, looking me in the eyes "Dance with me!"

I wanted to bolt, get the hell out of there as fast as I could- which was pretty damn fast. But I had to politely decline her offer and seem as human as possible, while sparingly taking breaths. Her scent, if not those eyes, could be the death of me.

"I don't dance." I replied, trying to hold my breath and quickly end the conversation.

She seemed embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Yea, me either," she murmured, looking down to her unfashionable brown boots. "Well, not usually. Too clumsy."

Then she looked up at me like a beautifully lost doe. Her big, brown eyes were begging for something from me- something I had no idea how to give her. It was painful to watch considering she had no idea I could break her in half with merely a finger. Yet she still stood, leaning into me without even realizing she was doing so.

_Why would she trust me with these emotions? Why is she still standing here? Where is her logic? Her instincts? How can she not see that I am a monster?_

"Sorry I ran into you." She looked back at her boots and kicked the toes towards the earth beneath her.

"Yeah," I said, "You really should be more careful."

And I realized I could go, quickly. No one was looking at and Alice was calling for me in her thoughts. So I stole one last glance at her, all of her beauty, and retreated back through the crowd.

"Edward!" Alice grabbed my arm as I hustled back through the masses of people. "Did you find her?"

"Let's go," I led her around the scattered people. "I can tell you about it on the way home."

"But-"

"No, I don't want to see the Rolling Stones. I really don't care that much. I just want to get the hell away from here."

Once we got back to the car, Alice barely put up a fight about driving Christopher. I had been planning on letting her drive back to Forks, but I hadn't planned on being so wound up. I knew I needed to tell her everything that happened but I also needed something to keep my mind occupied during our conversation, and driving was the perfect, mind-numbing task.

"Okay," Alice insisted, shutting the passenger door and getting settled in her seat. "What's the deal? What happened?"

"She was high, Alice... Really high. She ran into me," I hardly knew where to begin. "She wasn't frightened or aware of anything other than me. And I couldn't read her thoughts. That's never happened with a human before. It had to have been the drugs, I don't think she'd even remember me she was so messed up. And she smelled irresistibly good. I could hardly contain my thirst..."

"That's so weird, Edward... So did she say anything about Forks or Alaska or anything that could link her to us? Do you think she knew what you were?"

"No, she didn't say much. And no, I highly doubt she knew what I was. I don't see how she could have known. I didn't even get her name..." I trailed off.

_How the hell could I not have asked her name?_

"We'll have to discuss this with Carlisle when we get back," she decided. "I'm sure he will have some input."

"Sure," I said, absentmindedly.

"Edward?" Alice asked softly. "I'm sorry I left you alone with her back there. You came with me so I wouldn't be alone with the temptation and I should have been there with you. I really am sorry."

"Alice," I looked over to her, "it's not your fault. We needed to find her and it's all right. Nothing horrible happened, but I appreciate your concern. Don't mention it, Alice. It's okay; we're okay."

Her golden eyes sparkled as her mouth curved up into a smile as she picked out a magazine from her bag. There was no doubt that I loved Alice as my sister and she was one of my closest friends, but I was having a difficult time understanding why I'd agreed to go with Alice in the first place.

_If I hadn't gone, maybe this girl wouldn't be consuming my every thought- my every sense. But I went because I care about my sister..._ I thought to myself... _And because of the bet._

Ah, yes, how could I forget? Was it necessary for my siblings to constantly single me out? As if living with their thoughts weren't enough, I'm supposed to find joy in playing pointless games, too? I know that they're only having fun, and I know that my lack of enjoyment only makes Esme worry more. I guess if I'm being honest, I would join in their pointless games if only I didn't feel so extremely damned lately. After Alaska, and Tanya, I just feel more aware of how alone I really am. Will I ever find light in this dark existence I must face every second of every day? Tanya is a fairly good friend, but she would never be my mate. Her laugh and her smile seemed much too forced, and I suppose she may be just as lonely as I am. Still, I cannot simply settle just to have someone beside me. It seems as if hearing my family's worried thoughts have only rubbed off on me: now I am worried that this constant burning in my throat is the only thing making me feel remotely close to being alive. I cannot see the future as Alice can, and I am glad for it. For I know if I could see it, I'd see myself alone for eternity, in a dark, empty shadow. Why would I have ever bought into the idea that I am due anything more? From now on, I will have no expectations. What's the point anyway?

"How much longer? Are you thirsty? Want to stop and feed?" Alice's voice snapped me out of my mental revelation.

I sighed. "A while. Kind of. And yes in an hour or so when we get into Oregon."

"What about the county fair in Oregon? You know, the one we went to the other day on our way down to the concert?"

"What about it?"

"Well," she grinned, "what if we stop around there and see if we catch up with any smells or thoughts of the girl?"

Damn, the pixie was killing me. The girl's delectable scent still lingered on my clothes. But I couldn't deny that I wanted to see her again.

_What the hell?! What's wrong with me? Why do I want to see her again? I am a whole new breed of monster; I am selfishly willing to place the girl in grave danger just to see her another time... At least Alice will be there, so nothing will happen. Right- nothing is going to happen... And Alice's plan may actually work since we saw the girl stopped there on the way to San Francisco, _I thought

"I guess that'd be cool. If we don't get any answers, the trip may be considered a waste," I thought aloud. "But we'll have to hunt before coming into close proximity with the fair grounds. I'm warning you, Ali, she smells amazing."

"Okay!" Alice agreed. "That's fine by me. Oregon isn't my favorite state for hunting, but I guess it'll do... So wait, why didn't you get her name?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was trying to focus on not draining her entire body of blood, Alice. Besides, where the hell were you?"

"Well," she shifted in her seat, "I was looking for her when I noticed where her friends were standing. She wasn't with them so I figured she'd maybe just gone to get something to eat or to get her weed or something. You know how hippies are with their munchies... Well, anyhow, I was taking notes about some of the fashion trends I was spotting while waiting for her to return to her friends. At least the fashion mission was successful."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Ugh, okay, whatever. We'll find her in Oregon and you can bombard her with pointless questions regarding her name, favorite color, birthday, etc."

_Yea right. You probably won't let me get anywhere near her, Edward,_ she thought with a teasing smile.

"I'm glad you're having fun," I growled, frustrated.

Around twilight, I had just finished draining a buck within the shield of Oregon's vast forest when I heard Alice drop the remnants of her meal about a mile away. In merely a moment, she was by my side with an excited expression. I suppose her enthusiasm was necessary, especially since I understood how frustrating and nerve-racking this whole situation was. She began her graceful strides in the direction of fair grounds as I followed anxiously. We chose to stroll through the forest at a little faster pace than the usual human speed since we weren't sure how many random fairgoers would be wandering through the property surrounding the fairground. Plus, I appreciated the extra time to decide how to go about the situation if we did in fact see the human girl.

About 10 miles from the fairground, we heard laughter and the Rolling Stones playing on a shitty radio. We could smell humans and gasoline. It seemed much too close considering we made it a point to hunt at least 15 miles away from the fairgrounds.

"Alice," I said in a low voice, "let's walk and see what's going on."

She nodded and we slowed down to a human pace.

"I can see her, Alice."

"What? You can see her in her thoughts or in her friends?" She was clearly excited, but I could also sense the nervousness in her voice.

"Her friends," I frowned. "I still can't read her thoughts. Maybe she's still on something that is acting as a blocker? Anyway, they're eating about a mile away and setting up camp for the night."

_Let's go watch for just a minute_, Alice pleaded in her thoughts.

I nodded and hummed along to the song growing louder as we drew nearer to the girl's campsite.

_When you were a child_

_You were treated kind_

_But you were never brought up right._

_You were always spoiled with a thousand toys_

_But still you cried all night._

_Your mother who neglected you_

_Owes a million dollars tax._

_And your father's still perfecting ways of making sealing wax._

We saw a few of her friends through the trees dancing and singing. She was poking around at her dinner and nodding her head to the song, sitting in the open doorway of the VW bus. All but one of the guys with her were having absurd thoughts about her, and she seemed completely oblivious. No, it was more than that... It was as if she was altogether uninterested, entirely apathetic.

_What's wrong with her?_ Alice thought.

"I was just thinking the same thing," I whispered.

We watched as she left the remainder of her meal on the floor of the bus and threw her bag around her neck. She picked up a few wadded up sleeping bags and a small, water resistant bag.

"Bella, come dance with us!" A dark haired girl yelled in her direction.

"I'm going to set up my tent," she seemed to force her grin. "Maybe after, Ang."

Bella, Alice and I thought in sync.

"Pretty name," I whispered, nearly forgetting Alice was there to hear me.

Alice grinned from beside me, while Bella's friend frowned. She was concerned about Bella, so apparently this lack of interest was out of character for her. I couldn't help but wonder what made her look so sad as she set up her single tent. At the same time, I was quite impressed she knew how to set up a tent in the first place. Thankfully she was setting up her sleeping quarters further away from us, so I didn't have as hard of a time with restraint.

_I doubt we'll be getting a chance to talk to her_, Alice thought_. Want to leave once she goes to sleep?_

I nodded stiffly. I didn't like the idea of leaving Bella out in this cold, in the middle of Oregon's forest, all alone. Well technically, not all alone. I guess her weak teenage friends could provide a bit of protection, but I would bet on the girls before I'd expect any of the scrawny boys to put up a fight. Not that any kind of human could fight off our kind anyway. Hopefully we were the only vampires in this region. If not, I didn't even want to think about the atrocious possible outcomes of this evening. If I did allow my mind to play out all of the horrible scenarios, Alice wouldn't get me out of here tonight. If I had it my way, we would stay by Bella's tent all night and make sure she was safe.

After Bella was done arranging sleeping bags in her tiny tent, she wrapped her frail arms around her small waist inside of her sweater. She walked back to the van and sat on the edge next to one of her male friends. He handed her his cigarette as he started rolling a joint with the weed in his lap. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them to her. I didn't like the smell of cigarettes, or marijuana, but I was glad when the sad look on her face turned a bit more content after the first inhale of tobacco. When her friend lit up the joint, she seemed much happier. And that was it- I kind of understood her.

_Or at least I think I understand her,_ I thought.

She finished smoking with her friends, said goodnight, and strolled to her tent. Before Bella closed the tent and cut off Alice and mines eavesdropping, I couldn't help but notice the peaceful look on her face. After about 15 minutes, her friends were each arranging themselves in tents or in the van, while Alice and I ran back to her car parked near the interstate.

* * *

**Get ready for the story to really get intense once we get back to Forks!**

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